adaptable

Something like four years ago, I had a negative interaction with a mass-market franchise outfit which offers free wi-fi; basically, on a second visit I was unable to get into an art site because of an adult-content filter. When I e-mailed the parent corporation to express my disappointment, what came back was a form letter which really didn't even address my issue. Then, I started receiving marketing spam from them, which still comes through periodically.

So I boycotted the place. For four years. They got not one dime of my money.

Today I've finally reconsidered, largely because I know that corporations are not static places, that with the coming and going of people in management come other changes. Although I'm still not naming them, not ready to give them any positive PR just yet.

There's a practical aspect to this also. I needed to download an edited version of a document sent by one of my colleagues, so I could add my own edits and put it back into the system for the next guy to take his shot at it. Today is strictly business, nothing that's even remotely likely to make a content filter go tilt. And I'm staying with family in the suburbs, there are very few choices for wi-fi here... apparently the assumption is that everyone has internet access in their homes. Probably true, but I'm not going to take the time right now to install a wi-fi box there, or start moving someone else's DSL cables around, and the independent coffee places I prefer to to patronize for wi-fi are in the city or in Evanston, each 20-30 minutes away from here. I'm not going to inconvenience myself that much for the sake of principle, not then my project budget is involved.

So they got $1.87 out of me today. And indeed, it does appear to have changed. The interface is less intrusive, the login is intuitive... which it very much was not last time. Now there's a "free newsletter" box to check, so the spam is optional... maybe if I ask them, the old spam will go away now. Or it can just keep going to my junk mail folder, which is probably easier.

No time, today, to find out if they still censor. Maybe next time. But it sure is strange to sit in a coffee place where the average age of the clientele appears to be about 60. For an upscale suburb, they sure are noisy, and less than tactful.

wet

Yesterday, the morning shoot was warm and we dodged a light shower at the end. The afternoon shoot... it took major ingenuity to make it happen at all, after the first few frames. It poured. And the temperature fell 25 degrees in an hour. It was so cold, windy, and wet that it was literally impossible to shoot on location; the first time that's really happened. We salvaged what we could by doing some head shots in a bar with a large window, and then some silly shots in a toy store across the street.

After too much time in the rational side of the brain, the muse seems to have returned. Ironically, it returned today. It was still raining until just a little while ago, so I haven't pushed the possibility of a third shoot while here, that will probably wait til next time. But I'm having fun with some street photography, or documentary, or... I'm not sure what it is, but I've finally found a way to effectively capture the absurdity of suburbia. And one advantage of being forced to shoot in the bar yesterday is that I'm remembering how much fun it can be to do portraiture.

crazy

Chicago: I'm in my old Lincoln Park neighborhood, about two blocks from my old house, the one I left about eight years ago. It's a warm spring day, in the 80s, after (so I'm told) a cold early spring. It's one of the first few really warm days of the year. It's evening rush hour, so everybody is out, commuters plus people out for a run or a stroll, and the early dinner crowd. I'm watching from the window of a wi-fi spot on Armitage Avenue.

And it's mad crowded. The traffic is nuts, and they're all in a hurry, and no one is relaxed.

Maybe I'm just off a little today, adjusting to a sudden 20-degree jump in temperatures, but it doesn't feel good.

But I did get a lot done this morning, and I have two shoots tomorrow; one with a known quantity, a favorite model, and one with someone I've not yet met. I've barely begun to think about what to do with the opportunities.

Grrr

nevermind

arrogance

For some reason, it's easy to get the ego out of balance on things photographic.

My hypothesis is that it's partly because it's so easy to be abused as a photographer... the guys doing weddings and things like that are routinely taken for granted and manipulated by clients. So a certain amount of assertiveness goes a long way toward being treated with respect. There's a tipping point, cross that line and respect becomes the norm. There's not much in between, people are on one side of that line or the other.

Shoot the right genres though, and it's a little too easy to let that ego grow. For example, working with models. It's easy to start believing your own propaganda when attractive young women start dropping their clothes for you, often without even being asked.

It comes up because I've just ripped somebody a new one on a forum, something I rarely do. But he'd just responded in a less than respectful way to someone who had asked a valid question, and when I looked at his profile, it was the usual story. He's an unknown, and he can't even use a light meter. Almost every one of his photos is technical garbage. Yet he's so puffed up and full of himself, it's evident in everything he writes. I'm assuming it's overcompensation, that he's trying to convince himself. But he's got almost nothing to back it up.

I'll tolerate it to a point when the ego and the ability are in balance. There's another guy posting a lot lately who is more than a little arrogant. The difference is that he's got a long list of gallery and publication credits, meaning he's not the only one who thinks he's good. And he really is good. Maybe not as good as he thinks he is, but he's undeniably good.

Still, Don Rumsfeld had a lot of ability to go with his even bigger ego. And eventually, it was his downfall. So it's best to do a reality check every now and then.

around the bay

Much of my energy so far this year is going into my real job... I have a fairly large project going which involves managing staff from four offices in two states, and while it's a good client to work with, it's also a demanding one. As a result I didn't do my first shoot (with a model) until early March this year, and have not been posting here nearly as often as usual.

But things are slowly coming under control as I get more people trained up on the project and can delegate more work. And it does mean I'm in San Francisco once or twice a month. At one time I'd had a waiting list of models there, but then worked on things other places for a couple of years, so have had to rebuild that list. Things are moving now on that front as well.

After the shoot with Iona Lynn in March, I've made it a point to schedule one shoot each subsequent trip. It's been an evening and weekend thing, which is why I'm keeping it simple. But if anything, it's more important than ever to shoot now, to exercise the creative side of the brain and balance the rational demands of Monday through Friday.

The second shoot was a fortuitous bit of chance. I had an inquiry about reliable Bay Area models from another photographer, someone I've never met but have encountered frequently in various forums over the years. He does classic fine art nudes, and was planning a west coast visit. So that sent me off to check on a few models, see what they were up to.

One person I'd lost track of was Hana, who I'd had a memorable shoot with in 2005. She was gone from the site I'd found her on then, later I learned she'd taken a sabbatical from modeling, and she had just recently returned. So this time I found her on MM, and of course contacted her immediately, and within hours we had another shoot scheduled. It happened within days.

We shot at an East Bay location, one I've used before, but in a part of it I hadn't explored yet. It started off as almost a fashion shoot, if in a surreal setting, and ended with nudes. We could hear people for much of the time, but rarely saw any, and were never interrupted when it mattered. It was almost dark when we returned to the car.

The next shoots happened just a week or so ago. I'd been talking to Alea off and on for nearly a year, and it seemed we were just never in the same city at the same time. This time I checked with her, and she'd just returned from travel. Again, we were able to schedule a shoot fairly quickly.

That's her at the top of the post, with the bright red hair. As so often happens, we talked as much as we shot, and then talked for hours more after we shot... ending with a midnight burrito in the Mission District. The images took a few days to grow on me, but I've used several of them now in various venues. It seems to have been a successful shoot, and I certainly enjoyed the evening.

A couple of days later, I had three hours to fill between time in a financial district office and a South of Market exhibit opening. So I posted a casting call for a just-for-fun shoot, and had a response within an hour. It turned out to be her first shoot, so I spent part of it teaching. Kind of fun though, since there was zero pressure, the photos weren't really for anything beyond helping her start a portfolio.

Next: Chicago next week, for the first time in perhaps five months, maybe the longest I've been away from there in years. Then back to San Francisco in May, at least once and probably twice, followed almost immediately by a swing up the Oregon coast (tacked on the back end of a Crescent City meeting). I've already booked a shoot for Oregon, and have a tentative one in Chicago, although I haven't thought much about the San Francisco part yet. I have a agreement in principle to shootn there soon with someone who has interested me for a while, but she's on travel right now and it's not yet clear if she'll return in time for this trip. So if not this time, then next time.

refresh

After a longer than usual pause (two and a half months) without photographing a model, the muse returned last weekend. I spent a good part of the day with Iona Lynn, with a couple of hours of that time devoted to taking photos and most of the rest to talking about photography and things related.

We shot at one of my favorite marin locations, in a sustained moderate rain. I'm back in a medium format mood for now, so it was all tripod work, with an umbrella over the camera. I only shot about 4 rolls, 48 frames. As I sometimes do, I gambled and tried a film/developer combination I'm not really accustomed to, and while I'd nudge things a bit this way or that next time, it worked pretty well. There are quite a few good ones to pick from, and one that really pops. Always the perfectionist, I wish there was just a bit more shadow detail in that tiny area under that iron ring on the wall...

The important thing is that I'm ready to shoot again, finally. Since I'm returning to the Bay Area in less than two weeks, I've started scrambling a little to set some things up, since my once long waiting list of models there has dissipated from neglect and moving to other places.

There was already one possibility in place, someone who corresponded in mid-trip last time but too late to fit in that time... a nice counterpoint to the darker ones I usually work with, she's blond and not afraid to make crazy faces. I like her attitude, so hopefully the timing will work this trip.

Then Hana came out of nowhere, one of my favorite models ever, who I'd lost track of and haven't seen since sometime in mid-2005. She called me this morning, and I think we just might make a shoot happen soon. Nothing is ever sure with Hana, it's like trying to hold onto the wind or the fog, which is exactly what makes her so awesome to shoot with. it will happen if it's ready to happen.

Before that came about I posted a casting call. I always cringe a little to do this, because while it draws a surprising number of quality responses, it also draws some people... well, I should be careful what I say. Not my usual type, let's leave it at that.

So as I sometimes do, I specified nudity... sometimes I do that just to scare away the wannabes, although this time it's real, something I do really need for this particular concept. And this time... two interesting responses. One very tall and very alternative; and one a little more glamour-like than I usually accept, but attractive and, I think, with enough range to do what I need.

Suddenly I have more possibilities than available time, so I'm relying on the fact that it's not likely all of them will actually happen, it would would be surprising if at least one didn't need to at least wait til a future trip. Sometimes one will just disappear after the first message exchange. So let's see who stays interested and who falls by the wayside, and go from there.

getting ready

This is probably the longest I've gone in years without photographing a model. Just over two months. Until recently, the muse just didn't seem to be home. I just couldn't get excited about it, actually chose not to follow up on several offers.

But the creative urge is finally stirring. Partially, that's because after a lull I have some travel coming, and have an offer to shoot in the Bay Area from someone I've worked with twice before. Then last night I was browsing other Bay Area models, looking at casting calls, and initially finding nothing even remotely worthwhile... and then, by shifting the search focus a bit, I hit on one from a model I'd just seen a few days ago on the web site of a well-known photographer. Not sure yet if the schedule will work, but if it does I might contact her. Both of these girls are good... very good.

I'm finding people in other places too, unfortunately mostly places I'm not likely to visit this year. Still, they're interesting people. We take inspiration where we can find it.

So, the image-drought should break in just over a week. Then I need to start giving some thought to a spring Midwestern trip, and what to include within that.

answers

Last night I did a total re-write on the last chapter of my latest e-book, the one about my experiences photographing alternative and other models these past five years. Although the exercise raised as many questions as answers, some clarity did rise to the surface.

In the process of writing, I thought back over all the phases of my photography, over a lot of years. The commercial years, when I photographed only for money. The punk journalist years. The various series from 1998 through 2003, shown in galleries, usually one to two years around each conceptual core before moving on to the next concept. The post-2003 years of photographing internet models.

It struck me that it's been only in that most recent phase that I've worked mostly with people who define themselves as "models." As much fun as that's been, I'm beginning to find that it's a limiting factor. I need a more diverse set of subjects.

I'm actually starting by scanning some of that earlier work, portraits and nudes of non-models, people who are simply... interesting people. It's more work to find those people, to set up those shoots. But it's what needs to happen more often.

presidents

several weeks ago I read a book on Ulysses S. Grant. Pretty random, I was in a used book store, picked it up, found it to be well written and interesting, and bought it.

The book was limited to the Civil War years, covering the military career of a man almost universally acclaimed as one of the best military strategists of his time.

I remembered reading that Grant's presidency hadn't gone quite so well. But I didn't get around to doing the research until tonight.

Actually it was only half as bad as I'd remembered. Apparently a lot of the negative reviews were due to a tolerance of corruption, and indeed there is a list of scandals that is amazing by modern standards. But there are also some positive accomplishments listed; a solid record on civil rights, certainly visionary (and risky) at that time; several economic and monetary policy accomplishments; and a generally solid foreign policy record. Like most who have actually fought wars and seen men die, he kept things pretty peaceful during his eight years in charge.

That's so often the case with tarnished presidencies. Nixon may have had his mega-scandal, but he also signed the Clean Water Act and ended the Vietnam War. More recent presidents, those who have not yet found their full place in history, tended to have their good as well as there bad. Reagan presided over the breakup of the Soviet Union and the fall of the Berlin Wall, but he was also tarnished by Iran Contra and we're still paying the social costs of some of his budget cuts. Bush I was generally lackluster, but he pulled off a masterpiece in Iraq, winning a military victory but then pulling back... in the face of short-sighted criticism at the time... to leave a balance of power intact in the region. Clinton's optimism helped fuel eight years of unprecedented prosperity, even as the first seeds of of the financial crisis were sown.

But then we get to Bush II. And I can't think of a single positive thing he's done. Not one. Nothing that will matter in a year, much less in 100.

He started a war in Iraq on the basis of things that turned out not to be real, thus distracting attention and resources from the legitimate fight in Afghanistan. As a result both conflicts are ongoing. The economy lies in wreckage, in the depths of what will probably be the most severe recession since the Great Depression. The level of incompetence in federal agencies is at an all-time high, as evidenced by the botched handling of Hurricane Katrina and the spate of DOI decisions being thrown out in court because they were based on politics rather than science. And Americans are no longer the "good guys" of Reagan's movies, now we're torturers and violators of civil rights. Those are the highlights, but the list could go on.

Bush II makes Grant look good in retrospect. And as difficult as Obama's job is going to be, it can't help but be an improvement. Only a few more days, and the nightmare is over. History is not likely to be kind.

taking a break

Except for some images of Bay Area project sites, things distinctly work-related, I've hardly taken any photos so far in 2009. Certainly, none of models. I've made no real attempt to set anything up despite having been approached (by e-mail) by a few more models. There is one person I'd like to photograph sometime soon, someone I've worked with once before, and I really should e-mail and ask her... but what I have in mind isn't a conventional pretty picture.

The rest... when I'm feeling ready.